Here is the Photoboard that Jane’s sister Kat made as we celebrated and mourned Jane. There are already many other photos of Jane online and I still have many more to add.
Jane, I don’t want to say Goodbye to you. I want you to be right here. Each moment, I expect you to just be there right next to me or to see you in a group of people. Or I look at a photo of you and feel my body pulled towards you. I don’t […]
Sometimes I feel guilty about almost having forgotten about you for a little while. Must be the busy moments. These last few days, you have been inside me every moment, Jane. Sometimes it’s the grip of the gap that you leave. And sometimes, it’s not the gap but your place inside me, just as always, […]
Thank you to the people who have left comments on this blog. Please keep leaving them and, if you haven’t please start, if you’d like to. I’ve thought a bit about why I am doing this. It is certainly helpful to my process to do this writing. But I could do it in my notebook. […]
Alright, movies are back. I went to two film festival films on my own. I chose them carefully, not to be “good” movies but to speak to me in the process I am going through. Then I realised that’s what a good movie is. First I saw 2046 but I didn’t like it much. It’s […]
I almost wish I hadn’t said that. Having shrunk from the size of the house to being inside of me, yesterday the gap of Jane grew again to be just outside my body. The protection of my memory of Jane’s dead body lifted and I just crave her. Touching me now, sitting beside me. That […]
I thought it would be terrible, the day I woke up in this house alone. Since the day that Jane died, the place has echoed with her memory. There was a yawning Jane-shaped gap. I imagined it ringing with deafening silence as I searched for her from room to room. Today was that day. The […]
The night before Jane died, I got home a little later than I had said I would. We bundled into the car and dropped Elsie at Mary-Anne and Lynne’s with various bags of hers and Ed’s. Then we went straight to the Rialto and saw Enduring Love. It’s not an uplifting movie. It has its […]
This is my personal blog. I don’t use it much. Usually. It feels right to do this now. I am more active in my “work” blog Sociocorpus. Today I made a post about Jane there, too.