Report on Zosi

Jane, I thought I’d let you know how Zosi is getting on. Actually, he’s sitting partly on me just now. We have reached an arrangement where he fits under my arm so that I can type on the laptop, sitting on the sofa. I don’t know what you would have thought about all this latop-tapping, Jane but you can be assured that Zosi is maintaining a fitting level of disapproval.

You always said that Zosi was too stupid to tell one human from the other, or even recognise his own name. I fear you were right. That would explain his behaviour in the days after you died as I am afraid I did not notice him pining. Rather strangely, I have never seen him more settled. You also said that Zosi liked parties. He seemed to really like it that there were so many people here. He was quiet and relaxed. Always around but never demanding. I had to carry him to his bowl at meal times.

Once things quietened down, he returned somewhat to his old habits. He moans at mealtimes and moans for attention, unless the fire is on or it’s sunny. But his coat is glossy, he is a healthy weight and his eliminations are appropriate.

You can be assured that I am looking after him. He has his heating pad every night and I have learned to clean his litter tray. Oh, I put that in the shower, your shower, these days because we use the upstairs one and it contains all the cat litter that he scuffs out. I took him to the vet and they said stop the anti-inflammatory drops (cos they aggravate his kidneys) and put him on mussel pills. He likes those and doesn’t seem to have any arthritis.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I know that you loved Zosi a great deal and that his well-being was always important to you. I know you’re dead, Jane and that you can’t really hear this. I’m doing it for me so I can feel my love for you and feel myself twist up, tears dripping out.

There’s more tho. One day Simon was here with Pagan. It was cold outside so we decided to test your assertion that Zosi would never tolerate a dog. We let Pagan in and she settled down near the fire. Zosi was pretty watchful, initially but he remained relaxed. Over the evening, he installed himself on people’s laps from where he could keep an occasional eye on her. He didn’t show any signs of aggression or even fear. After a while, Pagan and Zosi were moving around each other about the house as if they’d always shared it.

A week or so after that, we had another animal visitor, a newborn lamb brought by Ali and Britta. It was quite the most gorgeous thing and I think Zosi thought so too.

1 thought on “Report on Zosi”

  1. Dear Daniel

    Just wanted to check out how you were and catch up with your thoughts. That Fairburn poem is amazing and those “blokes”, well, it is jolly good to celebrate them too.

    I think of you and Jane a lot while I am travelling – as I sit in the tram here in Melbourne – as I think of Martin with you in Christchurch, in the moments when I am alone – and they have been few and far between this trip and I miss them! If, I think to my self, I could just turn the clock back, if I could sit in your sitting room with Jane at the ironing board and a glass of wine in my hand and redo those times that I was able to drop in, and how I relished that – being handy, even if only on two occasions when I called in unannounced and thought how that would have been a bonus, if I had lived in ChCh and not in Auckland.
    Go ahead bravely – what a relationship you had, and how that must sustain these days and nights.

    Much love

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