I moved my blog to dan.randow.net.nz and to WordPress. It feels better. Thank you, Phil for this and Richard for the old blog. I moved my work blog Sociocorpus, too (details).
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Author: Dan Randow
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Walk With Me
Dear Jane, Soon it will be six months since you died. Tomorrow I will travel to Bannockburn to be with Con and George, Kat and Rogan and Christopher and Barbara. Anthea is travelling with me. On Monday, we will inter your ashes in the family plot in the Cromwell cemetery. Kat and I are planning […]
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Who You Are Not Spending Christmas With
Luke 2, 0-6 goes: “In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrolment, when Quirin’i-us was governor of Syria. And all went to be enrolled, each to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, […]
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Death or Dumping
A bit over five years ago, my partnership of 16 years with Mary-Anne ended. Walter was a dear and loving frend to me as I went through that. One day, we were walking on the bank of the Heathcote River and Walter said to me that this was bad. Worse even than the death of […]
Quite a few people have said to me that “time heals”. They were being kind, trying to say something helpful. I actually think it’s a myth, tho. What does happen over time is that memory of the loved and lost begins to fade and so the daily experience of pain at the loss reduces. You […]
You might have read my comparison between my own grieving process and the Eliz Kubler-Ross model (in the Pit and the Process). Well, here’s an update. With the vision of hindsight, I can now see that I’ve been through three clear stages: 1: Searing Pain (July, Aug, Sept) 2: Broken-heartedness (Sept, Oct, Nov) 3: Enlivenment […]
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Little Fish
Requiem for a Dream crossed with Neighbours? Not everybody rated Lantana but I did: five stars. I liked Somersault, too but Little Fish pushes at the envelope. For a while I wanted it to get started and regretted recommending it to Ed. Was this a dull suburban character drama? Who said I wanted to know […]
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Hi There, I’m Still Alive
Today is the anniversary of the day that Jane and I first met in Dunedin in 1976. I know that because it’s in Jane’s diary. I know it wasn’t transcribed from diary to diary all those years, like “28 Nov: Janet Hardy’s birthday (1958)” but, like “Nov 29: Jane + Daniel’s party (2003)” (the ‘Mystery […]
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Now That Death Has Us Parted
Yesterday was three months since Jane died. I attended the Civil Union (marriage, effectively) of my friends Andy & Angus yesterday. They met about the time that Jane I re-met. Angus (her real name is Linda), lived in Wellington and moved to Christchurch to live with Andy. Andy has two 16/17 year olds and a […]
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Back to Square One (and Beyond)
Today I went through some photos of times that Jane and I shared. That doesn’t really express it. Today, I looked at some photos and the scenes in the photos became the present moment with Jane in it and me in it. I looked at Jane’s face in the photo and felt love pouring out […]